In 2015 I was put in a precarious situation that caused my complete uprooting from the only life I had ever known. After 33 years in Boston, a long successful dance career, a little wellness business...and a host of other things; my little rag tag team of my then boyfriend, 2 cats, 5 snakes and a bearded dragon loaded everything we had and moved in two weeks to Arizona. I literally had to leave behind everything that I believed defined me. Boston was home...I was born there, raised there, lived there, had friends there, family there...My Baba was there......and in two quick weeks it was all gone. Our little U-Haul and my Ford Escape were heading out to the South West.
People always ask me, "Why Arizona?"- Honestly, when I was younger, I always wanted a road trip to the South West. To see the Grand Canyon. After we had traveled to Sedona for my 32nd birthday--- I thought, well, since we were forced to leave, let’s just go to Arizona. I mean, we literally had 2 fucking weeks to get out of our current living situation due to...well....let’s just say that sometimes certain "family" can be toxic...And while I don’t like toxic-- I like hexing and cursing (just saying!).
We made it to Flagstaff, AZ on May 1st, 2015. I thought well hell--- I am resilient I can just set up shop and just reclaim what I had left behind. The Universe, its chaos. And when you think "ah I am going to continue teaching dance to empower women and save mankind through Reiki"-- The Universe likes to kick you in the ass (sometimes several times!) until you realize-- that what you thought was your life blood and who you thought you were--was just a small portion of your existence. So, after several failed attempts to restart my dance career and wellness practice-- I realized, it wasn’t going to happen.
After two years we moved to Tucson, AZ, hoping that we would make sense of our lives. And again, I was so focused on who I used to be, that I never took the chance to see what I was meant to be.
Well, welcome to my grand year and half existential crisis. WHAT THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH MY LIFE!? WHAT IS MY PASSION!? WHAT IS MY PURPOSE?! Yeah….it was bad. Then, one day I read a quote, “Find your passion, find your purpose.”
HOLY SHIT! What was my passion? Certainly, not healthcare. 18 years in that business and I was burnt out. I love dance, but not enough that it would be my purpose in life. Then one day, watching the umpteenth episode of Forensic Files—it all clicked. I LOVE DEATH! I LOVE SCIENCE! I LOVE WORKING WITH BONES! I LOVE FORENSICS! I LOVE FORENSIC ANTHROPOLOGY!!
Prior to us moving to Tucson, I had enrolled in a Forensic certification course at a local community college. I had to drop out because I was having chronic migraines. Once I realized that my love and fascination with death, bones and using science to solve crime….it was all done. I FOUND MY PURPOSE! I took the first step (for real this time-nothing stopping me) and just signed up for one semester of an Admin of Justice course at Pima Community College. Once I realized that hell, this adulting in college thing works for me…. I just started searching for schools…
I found Keiser University in Tampa, Florida via the American Academy of Forensic Sciences (I was also going to apply to the University of Virginia—but who wants to deal with snow!?). I got accepted into the Forensic Science program with a focus on Crime Scene Investigation—got financial aid---and hell…. I am working on my Bachelors! And planning on getting my master’s in forensic anthropology from the University of Florida.
My point in this entire post is that, I found myself here in Arizona. Being stripped away to just an empty shell---I was able to find my place in this world. Yeah 37 years old and I am finally finding my purpose in my passion, but you know what, fuck it. You are never to old to find yourself. The past four years in Arizona, I learned about who I truly am---my authentic self. Was it easy? Hell no. Would I do it all over again? Yes. I learned about what I am willing to give up, what I am willing to take, how resilient I really am and most of all, I learned about things that do really matter in life.
I found myself here in the desert. Found me. My true authentic morbidly fascinated odd little soul.
Now the third chapter starts in this wild journey of life
….in Tampa, Florida
—Class of 2021.
I found my passion which led me to my purpose….I found me.