In 2015 I was put in a precarious situation that caused my complete uprooting from the only life I had ever known. After 33 years in Boston, a long successful dance career, a little wellness business...and a host of other things; my little rag tag team of my then boyfriend, 2 cats, 5 snakes and a bearded dragon loaded everything we had and moved in two weeks to Arizona. I literally had to leave behind everything that I believed defined me. Boston was home...I was born there, raised there, lived there, had friends there, family there...My Baba was there......and in two quick weeks it was all gone. Our little U-Haul and my Ford Escape were heading out to the South West.
People always ask me, "Why Arizona?"- Honestly, when I was younger, I always wanted a road trip to the South West. To see the Grand Canyon. After we had traveled to Sedona for my 32nd birthday--- I thought, well, since we were forced to leave, let’s just go to Arizona. I mean, we literally had 2 fucking weeks to get out of our current living situation due to...well....let’s just say that sometimes certain "family" can be toxic...And while I don’t like toxic-- I like hexing and cursing (just saying!).
We made it to Flagstaff, AZ on May 1st, 2015. I thought well hell--- I am resilient I can just set up shop and just reclaim what I had left behind. The Universe, its chaos. And when you think "ah I am going to continue teaching dance to empower women and save mankind through Reiki"-- The Universe likes to kick you in the ass (sometimes several times!) until you realize-- that what you thought was your life blood and who you thought you were--was just a small portion of your existence. So, after several failed attempts to restart my dance career and wellness practice-- I realized, it wasn’t going to happen.
After two years we moved to Tucson, AZ, hoping that we would make sense of our lives. And again, I was so focused on who I used to be, that I never took the chance to see what I was meant to be.
Well, welcome to my grand year and half existential crisis. WHAT THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH MY LIFE!? WHAT IS MY PASSION!? WHAT IS MY PURPOSE?! Yeah….it was bad. Then, one day I read a quote, “Find your passion, find your purpose.”
HOLY SHIT! What was my passion? Certainly, not healthcare. 18 years in that business and I was burnt out. I love dance, but not enough that it would be my purpose in life. Then one day, watching the umpteenth episode of Forensic Files—it all clicked. I LOVE DEATH! I LOVE SCIENCE! I LOVE WORKING WITH BONES! I LOVE FORENSICS! I LOVE FORENSIC ANTHROPOLOGY!!
Prior to us moving to Tucson, I had enrolled in a Forensic certification course at a local community college. I had to drop out because I was having chronic migraines. Once I realized that my love and fascination with death, bones and using science to solve crime….it was all done. I FOUND MY PURPOSE! I took the first step (for real this time-nothing stopping me) and just signed up for one semester of an Admin of Justice course at Pima Community College. Once I realized that hell, this adulting in college thing works for me…. I just started searching for schools…
I found Keiser University in Tampa, Florida via the American Academy of Forensic Sciences (I was also going to apply to the University of Virginia—but who wants to deal with snow!?). I got accepted into the Forensic Science program with a focus on Crime Scene Investigation—got financial aid---and hell…. I am working on my Bachelors! And planning on getting my master’s in forensic anthropology from the University of Florida.
My point in this entire post is that, I found myself here in Arizona. Being stripped away to just an empty shell---I was able to find my place in this world. Yeah 37 years old and I am finally finding my purpose in my passion, but you know what, fuck it. You are never to old to find yourself. The past four years in Arizona, I learned about who I truly am---my authentic self. Was it easy? Hell no. Would I do it all over again? Yes. I learned about what I am willing to give up, what I am willing to take, how resilient I really am and most of all, I learned about things that do really matter in life.
I found myself here in the desert. Found me. My true authentic morbidly fascinated odd little soul.
Now the third chapter starts in this wild journey of life
….in Tampa, Florida
—Class of 2021.
I found my passion which led me to my purpose….I found me.
There is a little strip of road near our current apartment in Tucson, AZ. However, this little strip of land carries some dark and strange energy. There have been multiple car accidents on this little patch of road, and multiple deaths. Just Google "ACCIDENTS ON SPEEDWAY AND GREASEWOOD".....and you will see a lot pop up.
I am not sure if there has ever been any true paranormal research done on that area, but they many times that I have driven on that road, the indication that the spirits are restless and need to reach out is evident.
Truth is, over that little strip of road, there is a dark mist that hovers over it. Its dark and its there and it feeds of the weak. I am not saying that the victims were weak, but, they were in vunerable states of mind; alcohol, drugs and youth.
I have seen these mists before, mostly on empty patches of land, near haunted and abandoned homes and on roads. Its not like the energy that Shadow People send out. Shadow People most often focus on inviduals and attach themselves to the person. The mists on the otherhand, feed off the energy of the land and revive themeselves by finding those who are in weak states of mind -- and driving. They cause accidents, they cause distorted vision, they cause the driver to be in the state of almost a dream state.
So what are these black mists? I do not believe that they are spirits, I believe that they are creatures of the Earth. While the energies of the planet are often peaceful and calm, there are entities that are negative - after all, you cannot have positive energy without negative!
How do you keep yourself safe? For starters, do not drink, do drugs and drive! It sounds obvious, but if you are in a vunerable state- its easy for you to be a victim. Another tip! Make yourself a little gris gris bag for protection! It can also function as a air freshner! Find yourself some cloth or material that you like. Add a little bit of cotton inside, this will help absorb the oils. Fill the bag with protection herbs, such as agrimony, patchouli and basil. Add a few drops of protection oil, tie or sew the bag and decorate it if you wish. My bag has a little key and a little skull- as these are parts of my spiritual practice. Sew it up and hang it over your rear view mirror! Not only will it protect you from the negative energies, but will also serve as a great air freshner!